Burro Viejo Woodworking

Burro Viejo Newsletter        February 2012 

Welcome to the February Burro Viejo Woodworking newsletter!

With the coming of February, Mrs. Burro and I would like to wish all of you a Happy Valentine's Day!

 Ol' Burro's Almanack

Happy February to you my most kind readers. On can only hope that this new year is both happy and prosperous for you, and yours.

My esteemed friends, it has been an interesting time here in our little hamlet. Now that the pain of the passing of the old (some say he was on a par with Methuselah), and the election of our new mayor, Ethan R.

One fine day, with the permission of my dear wife, I undertook to pay a visit to our new mayor, to see how he was faring in his new responsibilities. With I got there, the door was open, so I peeked in, and said my hello.

He looked up from his paperwork, and said, welcome my old friend Burro, to what do I owe you the pleasure of your visit? When I informed him that this was a social, rather than a business visit, he relaxed quite visibly, and offered me a wee dram to ward off the chill.

Oh my friends, the tales that he recounted to me. Some good, some not so good, most silly, and some were downright outrageous. The best of the lot I shall pass along to you, though I shall take the liberty of changing names, so as not to embarrass the parties any more than they have been.

This misadventure took place a couple of weeks ago, and it was one of the darnedest thing that he had ever seen. It occurred at the farm of Mr. Elliot T., and his wife Martha. They came into the office, to report that their prize hog Osgood had gone missing, and were not sure if he had disappeared on his own, or was coerced.

To judge the seriousness of what happened, he said, he sent for our constable (the elderly Mr. Jacob B.), and asked him to look into the matter. He came back a few days later, a big smile on his toothless (quite elderly he is), and chuckling a bit. As it turned out, after quite a bit of investigation, he had discovered that Osgood had not disappeared at all.

It turned out that Osgood would let himself out in the morning (he is more of a pet I guess), and then would find his way over to the neighboring farm, and spend the day there. Then, after dark, once again find his way back home, and fall sound asleep under their raised bed. Well said old Jacob, the couple never noticed his coming and going, as the one never noticed a difference of smell of one, nor the snoring of the other. On a side note, the expected litters will be equally divided between the interested parties.

With this sordid tale concluded, I took my leave from him, so that he may continue with his paperwork, and also I must now take my leave of you, my friends, because after as long a visit as this, I'm sure to hear about it from my beloved wife. With that said, I remain,

your humble friend,

                                           Ol' Burro 

Ol' Burro's News From All Parts 

Bull On The Loose!

Residents in the Grygla area are advised to keep an eye out for a 3 year old Murray Grey bull that wandered off from the Flying Turkey Ranch last Tuesday afternoon. Nathew G., owner of the Flying Turkey Ranch, says that the bull answers to the name of Elbert, and is a very good natured creature, and can be bribed with celery. If Elbert is seen in your area, please call the Flying Turkey Ranch.

Dog Shoots Local Hunter In The Backside

Chokio resident Chuck R. was admitted to the Bircelyn General Hospital last Monday, with non life threatening injuries suffered in a rather odd hunting accident. Mr. R. was out on a hunting trip last Monday, with his brothers Ralph, and Eugene, when he placed his shotgun against the tree where his stand was located. His brother Eugene, who witnessed the event, said that Chuck was about 25 feet up, when Barkwell, Chuck's dog, felt the need. When he raised his leg to the tree, he accidentally hit the shotgun's trigger, firing the shot. Chuck, according to Eugene, is healing well, and has forgiven Barkwell.

 Ol' Burro's Advice

Treat a fine burl like royalty, let it speak to you first.

One should never try to force creativity.

A sharp pencil, and a good piece of wood can take you anywhere.

Believe you can build it, and you are half way there.

Ideas shape the course of woodworking.

Let each woodworker exercise what they know.

Act as if your woodworking makes a difference.

Always desire to learn new skills.

Always do your best in the shop.

If you can draw it, you can build it.

Ol' Burro's 10 Shop Virtues

1. Temperance - drink not, prior to working in your shop.

2. Silence - shout not, upon entering a shop, as one may be using the table saw.

3. Order - let all of your tools have their place, and each part of your project have it's time.

4. Resolution - resolve to perform a set number of tasks, perform without fail, what you resolve to do.

5. Frugality - waste not the least offcut, it may come in use elsewhere.

6. Industry - waste no time contemplating a future project, while working on the one at hand.

7. Sincerity - use no hurtful deciet in dealing with customers, or suppliers.

8. Cleanliness - a tidy shop, is an efficient shop.

9. Tranquility - be not disturbed at trifles, or miscuts common, or unavoidable.

10. Humility - always remember to accept praise humbly, as there will always be somone else's work you will be in awe of.